Shorter of Breath, and One Day Closer

The room was very dark and quiet.  The familiar and annoying rhythm of nurses waking me every hour to check something or do some test was replaced with just the vital signs monitor showing my heart wildly out of control.  No longer in a regular hospital room, I was moved to the CCU.  My heart had gone from A-fib to V-fib.  A real heart attack.  I was twenty-six years old.

That feels like a long time ago.  Today you know I am a mud runner, an OCR masters division racer in the best shape of my life.  But on that day long ago I had one thought on my mind.  Am I ready to die?

We all sign that death waiver before every race.  It's kind of a running joke among us.  Because like anyone else doing extreme things, death is simply not a factor in the equation.  We don't think about it, train for it, purposefully look out for it on the course.  We hide it deep in the recesses of our minds.  But in reality, we do sign on the dotted line and initial in forty-two places. 

Death is not just a possibility in OCR.  It is a guaranteed fact of life for us all.  It does not discriminate by age, gender, religion, or anything else.  And nobody knows the moment it will strike.  Are you ready?

I have not seen nor heard of any deaths on the course - yet.  But I have seen plenty of injuries, some potentially life-threatening.  The waiver we sign is good for litigation and insurance purposes.  But it won't stop the inevitable process of death when it is your time.  Are you ready?

Lying in that quiet room with others who were in fact really about to die, I pulled through.  The doctors could never explain the root cause of my attack.  There was no residual damage to my heart.  No restrictions on my future activities.  I was released a day later and went home.  The mild arrhythmia I can experience is controlled by a minimal dosage of drugs.  But none of that good news will stop me from dying one day.  I am ready.  I knew I was ready that day.  Whether I lived or died didn't matter.  All was resolved in this world, this life, and for eternity.

Are you ready?  Just ask me.